- If it is on the ground and was at one point in time edible, then you might as well check to see if it is still indeed edible….including little pink wads of gum which are not only edible, but delicious as well.
- If there is any opportunity to dash away from parental line of vision, you might as well chance it and see if you can temporarily hide behind the legs of people in a crowd…..just for the sport of it.
- If the brothers look like they are having fun wrestling on the ground in the middle of the walkway, you might as well pile up on top and see how long you can hang on before being flung onto the pavement as from a bucking bronco!
- If the surrounding atmosphere appears to be quiet and serene, you might as well try to liven up the mood with an ear-piercing scream….until the 5th or 6th time you are asked to stop and then a good whiny cry is the next strategy.
- Although naps are definitely for babies, if you indeed find yourself sitting on someone’s lap in the middle of the afternoon (such as during a loud rendition of Beauty and the Beast), you might as well take the opportunity to lay lifelessly such that their leg will fall asleep and they become ineffective in pursuing you during your upcoming dart away.
- If you see a toy that you once held (or thought you had once held….or even wished you had), you might as well grab it and proudly proclaim “mine!”….and see how long you can hold on to it before it is rudely snatched back.
- You are the master of your own universe and control the space around you – which means you can walk in front of people, walk between their legs, circle around them, touch them, trip them up, whatever you need to do to impede their prior course of motion….even if you don’t know them. Adults seem to find this highly annoying …. especially when they have to practically leap over you to prevent a huge pile-up!
We are looking at rental properties and Kathy mentioned the possibility of us splitting to find cheaper housing. After having spent the week alone with my three while she and our mom took her boys to Disney, I replied, “we’d have to be right beside each other then.” Spending a week being a truly single mom – was truly stressful to me.
It’s stressful when you have a kid in school and have to deal with sudden changes – oh, a 2-hour-delay for freezing rain; no after school programming for a couple days, anything else you want to throw at me?
It’s stressful when viruses are running amuck and you don’t know who and when is going to fall next. Micah had two evenings of low-grade fever, headaches and went to bed early, but I still wasn’t ready to call him sick since I was single parenting (so I just had to keep worrying that he was “getting sick”!).
It’s stressful when there are two grants due on the same day for my crisis nursery work (and I’ve never written grants before). I got 3 hours of sleep Tuesday night and 2 hours of sleep Wednesday night – and as you can imagine, this lack of sleep was not helping my parenting skills.
It’s stressful when you pick up the pen and sign your name that you are prepared to accept the responsibility of adopting another boy. You pick up the pen. You sign. A good stress….but a stress nonetheless.
And it’s stressful to worry about said boy who hasn’t gained weight in over 6 months so you’re just starting him on pediasure (to bulk him up) and spending the week wondering whether the phenomenal amount of blood letting they did last week will reveal any answers. (Update – All negative – he’s currently a perfectly healthy (runny-nosed) teeny, tiny little guy).
I spent the whole week with stress hanging over my shoulders about what I would do (and how life would have to be juggled) if just one piece fell out of my finely balanced tower. And if you’re living in stress and constantly under pressure and not sleeping for the week, the time moves by without much chance to catch up to it.
Yet, as I drove to church this morning, I noticed my body soften looking at the beauty of the new snow on the world. I thought about the tranquility of watching snow fall through the yellow glare of a street light (I will often pause and stare for the longest time at this softness). I thought about how I love winter when it lets you slow down. You stay home because you don’t want to be out “in that.” You dream of a huge warm fireplace (next house?). It seems that the world should pause for a moment longer after the rush of the holidays. Yes, we tend to schedule fewer events and the weather tends to cancel schools and meetings and work. And maybe we should all follow nature’s rhythm of taking a break in the winter – resting, hibernating, rejuvenating, preparing….
Maybe I should become a tree.
Here’s to hoping for some earth-stopping blizzards in February! (just kidding!)
Top Ten ways my two-year-old tried to drive me crazy at Disney World:
10. Must touch every open garbage can and/or push the swinging lid of garbage cans which are within a ten-foot radius of one’s steps…or can be reached without Mom stopping me prior to touching.
9. Must climb up, walk along as far as possible, and then jump off every wall that is, say, under four feet high.
8. If Mom decides to bridle me with a lamb “backpack” (aka dog leash – I’m no fool!), must pull forward as quickly as possible into oncoming people….or stop suddenly and explore small particles on the ground…possibly needing to taste them to determine identity (again, only if this can be done without Mom yanking on said chain to stop the taste test).
7. Must manage to outwit Mom at least once by disappearing for a sufficient quantity of time to make her heart thump and nerves explode, say by wandering off at the Dinoland playground area, cross over the bridge, and sit playing happily in the sand until she finds me (hey, don’t worry, it was an entirely closed in area….it’s not like I went out the exit part of the play ground and was truly lost!)
6. Must attempt to splash in the water of “It’s a Small World”…or any other boat ride for that matter….”Jungle Cruise” can get the same reaction….prior to the harsh tone of “Noah!!”
5. Must try to drag the “tail” of aforementioned leash into as much dirt and/or mud as possible, or step on it repeatedly, prior to Mom noticing this act and wrapping the tail over the head of poor “lamby” as I walk along.
4. Important to always resist Mom’s attempt to have control of the said leash, though once she firmly establishes that she is the one who gets to hold that end, should drop the battle without a care in the world…and take off running.
3. Must attempt to give every single Disney character in each and every parade a high-five, even if that means occasionally stepping off the curb (a definite Disney Parade no-no!) and enduring the reprimanding “N-o-a-h….”
2. Must remain standing the entire bus ride to the airport, despite the repeated reminders to sit, blabberings about safety this or that, threats of losing life or limb, and/or attempts to knock me into a seated position by swiping my legs out from under me.
1. And lastly, must without a doubt refuse to fall asleep on the plane ride home, jump over the back of the seats to play with grandpa, climb under seats to retrieve thrown toys, unclick seat belt 102 times (very fun), spill any drink within an 18 inch radius, and squeal as loudly and as often as possible. This energy expenditure is worth falling asleep at 6 pm and sleeping in clothes and coat the rest of the night. Thanks for the Disney trip, Mom.